How to Talk About Sex (Without Feeling Awkward)

Good sexual communication is key to a healthyand fulfilling sex life. But for many of us, talking about sex can feelawkward, uncomfortable, and even taboo. If you're not used to talking openlyand honestly about your sexual needs, desires, and boundaries, it's totallynormal to feel a little intimidated at first. But just like with anything else,the more you practice, the easier it will become.

Make a date night out of it. Getting takeoutand watching a movie together sounds like a great way to spend an evening—butit's not exactly conducive to open and honest conversation. Instead, trydedicating a specific day or evening each week to talking about your sex life.This way, you'll have uninterrupted time to really dig into the topic withoutfeeling rushed or interrupted. Plus, knowing that you have dedicated time setaside for this conversation will help reduce any anxiety you might be feelingabout broaching the subject.

Talk about the good stuff first. Too often, wefocus on what's not working in our sex lives instead of what is. So make apoint to start the conversation by sharing something positive about your recentsexual experiences with your partner. Not only will this help put your partnerat ease, but it will also give you both something to build on as you exploreways to improve things further.

Good sexual communication is essential for ahealthy and satisfying sex life—but it can be tough to know where to start ifyou're not used to talking about these things openly.Here are some questions toget you started:

• The thing I most admire about you is _____________.
• My most exciting sexual moment with you was _____________.
• The part of my body I feel the most self-conscious about is _____________.
• The sexiest part of your body is _____________.
• The thing about sex I am most uncomfortable with is _____________.
• The most exciting place for us to make love would be _____________.
• My favorite part of lovemaking with you is _____________.
• Things that make lovemaking exciting for me are _____________.
• The sexiest thing about you is _____________.
• The thing you do sexually that turns me on the most is _____________.
• The thing I want you to know about me sexually is _____________.
• Something new or different I am wanting to try with you is _____________.

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Based on what you heard from your partner, arethere any action steps you want to take to help make sex more exciting andsatisfying for both of you? Now, make a plan together and work with yourpartner to come up with some specific solutions that will work for both of you.This could be anything from trying out new positions or experimenting withdifferent kinds of stimulation and sensation during sex. Whatever it is, besure to write it down so you can refer back to it later for your nextconversation:

Lastly, keep talking. Regularly. Put thissubject on your relationship radar of important things to continue to revisit.

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